|
Pauline Lofkin, from Devon, asks ‘How many of your readers can thank birds for marriage guidance?’
‘My husband and I parted; our daughter moved with me to Somerset and our son lived with his father in Devon. It was a traumatic two years. We had been at each other’s throats with divorce pending and had both found new partners.
‘My husband had to stop working because of ill health so there were money problems. I developed depression, culminating in a total breakdown. Both of us lost our new partners.
‘Amongst other things, my doctors told me to get out and walk-- so I did! I discovered the beautiful Mendip Hills. I watched hobbies, buzzards, even a goshawk. I photographed trees, the stone walls, the way of life and the stunning views.
‘The best was yet to come, when I discovered the RSPB nature reserves on the Somerset Levels. I had never seen so many birds---long-tailed, willow and coal tits, goldcrests, huge flocks of fieldfares and redwings and glints of yellow as hundreds of goldfinches flew around the fields.
‘Starlings descended on the reeds each evening and I experienced the even more incredible sight and sound as they left their overnight roosts at dawn. One morning I saw 18 little egrets in one field. I would see hundreds of mute swans. On the pools and marshes, the honk of geese enthralled me, as did the almost prehistoric sight of cormorants stretching their wings.
I crept up on a merlin resting on a farm gate and stood beneath a hobby on a telephone wire.

‘There were herons in great numbers and I saw my first wild otter. With my daughter, I watched a pair of kingfishers diving from reeds. I watched marsh harriers dance across the skies and heard but never saw a bittern.
‘Then I had to make the heartbreaking decision to leave.
My husband and I decided to get back together. It meant moving
back to Devon, a difficult call despite its beauty. But I wanted
my family back together: I still loved my husband and he, me!
‘We rented a house with an overgrown garden and my husband knocked up some bits of spare wood into a bird table. He was the one who bought feeders and I filled them with nuts and seeds and made the bird-cake. We soon had blue tits, goldfinches and long tailed tits. Visitors included jackdaws (real characters), slow worms, grass snakes, mice, lots of slugs, a toad and a lesser spotted woodpecker. Our garden is the Burger King of the local bird population.
‘My husband spends hours watching it all, including the buzzards soaring in front of the house. It’s usually backed up with incessant questioning, but he’s also watching. He knows what I’ve given up, so he highlights anything that happens outside for me. He’s watched the sparrows bickering, robins fighting for territory, even a barn owl, and is taming one of the jackdaws to take bread from his hands.
‘His health has hit serious problems but he comes out on my jaunts and we spend a lot of time together. You have to understand that my husband has never, during 17 years of marriage, shown any interest in the “great outdoors”, being a bit of a townie and enjoying his TV and the odd beer!
‘A few weeks ago, we visited Darts Farm near Topsham, Exeter. I had been many times, but now there is a new RSPB shop alongside an outdoor centre. My recent interest in photography prompted my husband to browse books while I pondered
re-joining the RSPB. He made the decision for me, joining us all in one fell swoop.
‘We went on to Bowling Green Marsh on the Exe Estuary.
I walked him to the viewpoint. On the mud were redshanks, four little egrets, gulls and a visiting osprey (imagine my excitement). I struggled to look with my cheap bins but a
gentlemen, as birders often do, let us use his scope. We talked birds, and my husband talked about cameras and said how wonderful the afternoon had been, how friendly the other chap was. People who watch birds generally are. Sharing knowledge is a great thing.
‘Both of us are benefiting slowly from getting out and looking.'
'My kids help me support orangutans in Borneo. I volunteer as a warden to rebuild my confidence. Birds magazine lies by the bed and the RSPB Handbook of British Birds, our free gift, lies this morning on the floor where it fell off the bed during the night.
‘We’re closer than we have ever been in our turbulent years of marriage. We live on a low income and no longer own our own home. I miss Somerset and its open spaces but I’ve gained so much more –
really, it is down to birds. So you see, RSPB, you’re saving the birds and you’ve helped repair our marriage and family– and you are well on the way to restoring our good health too.
|